Archive for Judging Stories

RUN! From Curb to Airplane Seat in 19 Minutes Flat

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Friday, November 11th, 2011

For those of you who follow my judging adventures, here’s another for the books.

 

This one occurred as I was traveling back to WI. Being a diligent judge, I had made my flight reservations few months prior while the fares were low. In the usual mid-week craziness and pre-flight, Dan was kind enough to check me in the evening prior and print off my plane tickets. As my itinerary said, my flight left at 7:00 a.m.

Being a responsible flyer, I arrived at the airport at 5:25 a.m. which is plenty of time for a 7:00 a.m. flight. The hour is way too early and I find myself staring at the departure board trying to determine what gate I’d be flying out of. I stare for several minutes and am still unable to find a 7:00 a.m. flight to my location. However, I do see a 6:00 a.m. flight.

I don’t worry, sometimes these things happen so I pull out my ticket to check the flight number and am SURPRISED to find that my flight number matches the 6:00 a.m. departure time. It’s now 5:27 a.m. and I quickly realize that I have less than 20 minutes to get through 2 security check points, a potential mini-molestation by TSA, run to the tram which will take me to the remote terminal and from there I get to do more running to my boarding gate. DRAT!!!!

First order is to run to the security area I know generally is the quickest. Second, I beg and plead my way into the first class line as the regular line is far too busy and moving way too slow. Next I score when some nice passengers allow me to move ahead of them at the first TSA checkpoint. Once through, I beg and plead my way to the front of the baggage & pat down line. Amazingly, this all comes together better than I could plan, although I’m certain most people could see the wild look of pure desperation in my eyes. It was probably smart that they chose not to get in my way.

 

I run on off to the tram, run to the gate and barely make it on board. I look at my watch and the entire ordeal was complete in 19 minutes flat. Miracles do happen!

 

Now that I’m safe on board, I can investigate what the heck happened. Did I completely misread my itinerary? The short answers is NO! It seems the airline changed the flight time and neglected to notify me. No phone call, no e-mail, no notice when Dan checked me in, nothing!

Oh well, at least I made it and the weekend judging was fun. Dang air travel!

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Categories : Judging Agility Articles, Judging Stories

Friday Night in Casper, WY

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Friday, April 8th, 2011

This post will be funnier if you read about Thursday Night in Casper, WY first.

After returning from the dog show, I stop in the hotel lounge/restaurant to grab something to drink to take back to my room before heading out with the club to dinner. I notice a band is setting up and it appears to be just a few locals hanging around so far.

After routine ‘Hello’s’ and she takes my drink order, the bartender asks, ”Are you with the event?”

After last night’s lingerie show I very hesitantly ask “Which event?” After all, I have no idea what’s in store for tonights entertainment at this establishment!

She perkily replies”The animal thing”. Oh, she must mean the dog show! So being relieved, I happily chirp up with a very enthusiastic “Oh YES!” and she says “Wow, that’s great! At first I thought you guys were a Taxi convention.”

I have no idea what the hell she’s talking about. What does a taxi have to do with a dog agility trial?

As I’m walking away and I see several men in camoflauge at the check-in desk and a few redneck-types (like my husband) hanging around in the lobby, it dawns on me…She thinks I’m a part of what appears to be a Taxi-Dermy convention at the hotel. After all, what other animal ‘activity’ has anything to do with taxi’s, camoflauge and rednecks????

As I pass a conference room, I peak in and see hand-drawn carcass diagrams on the white board and my Taxi-Dermy conclusions are confirmed.

It’s only 4:00 p.m. here in Casper, WY and we haven’t even gone to dinner yet. What else is in store for me in this cute, crazy and fun little town? : )

copyright Lisa M. Selthofer 2011

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Categories : Judging Agility Articles, Judging Stories
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Agility Judging & Forest Fire

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Friday, February 4th, 2011
Midwestern Girl Meets Forest Fire…Part I
During one of my judging excursions to the western part of the country, a very large forest fire had developed the evening prior.  So that you can understand my background, in Chicago (the city that almost completely burned in 1871), we made it a goal that all fires be extinguished almost immediately…so I just figured forest fires were handled the same way (here’s where you start to chuckle at my ignorance…).
The next day was fairly cloudy and the air was thick (unusual since they had predicted clear skies…).  Yeap you guessed it.,  The forest fire was still going and I was completely clueless.  As is my job, I was diligently concentrating on each dog’s performance (see picture to the right) – but there’s a problem.  First, I was from a time zone that was two hours ahead and it was lunch time in Chicago.  Second, I could smell what I thought were big juicey burgers simmering on a grill, and my stomach was begging to be fed.
Later, as I’m doing paperwork, I mention how great the burgers smell…and that’s when I’m informed that it’s not a grill I’m sniffing, but rather an entire forest burning!  So I think about that for a few minutes and then ask “How far away is the fire?” to which I’m told “Far….”  Now my question is, if I can see the smoke and smell the fire, “How far is far?” (hey, a fair question since this is my first forest fire experience) at which they indicated that they didn’t know.  Not know?!?!  But they just told me it was far….so in trying to assess if there is a potential emergency, I notice that all of the local folks were very calm and didn’t appear worried.
Then it hits me, of course they’re calm, they all have vehicles to evacuate in and they know how to get out of town…but I dodn’t. So I struck up a deal with the trail secretary and told her “I’m counting on you to tell me when I need to worry. Until then, I just want to know where your car is parked so I can keep an eye on it!”
Coming from a city that almost completely burned because of a cow kicking over a lantern, I was perfectly happy with our little agreement (and I had a ride out of town if needed…)
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Tweet!!! Dear Handler, Your Dog is Lame…

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (1)
Friday, June 18th, 2010

While running an agility course, it’s discombobulating to hear the judge whistle you. You’ve got a plan, you’re thinking about the course, you’re directing your dog and by golly you can’t help but think ‘Why in the world is the judge interrupting me with that darned whistle?!’

Mentally you’re thinking:

* Am I running the right course…check.
* Did my dog hit that last contact…check.
* I didn’t start before the timer said okay…check.
* What the heck…?

Physically, adrenalin is coursing through your veins and you are in overdrive. So when the judge says ‘Your dog is lame…’ understanding exactly what that means may not process right away.

Things Handlers Have Said – Here are some real conversations (and possibly a lesson on what not to say) that have occurred after having whistled and informed handlers their dog was lame (H – handler, J – judge).

********
H: “No, he’s not!”
J: “Really, he is. I would suggest checking the rear right paw”
H: “He’s not lame!”
J: “I’m just sharing…”
Note: turned out the dog had a burr burrowed between its’ pads. The handler did come and thank me later.

********
H: “No! Do we really have to stop my run?”
J: “Yes! Your dog is lame and I’m just looking out for them”
H: “I know…I just wanted to finish running the course.”

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H: “Oh he’s not in pain.” and the handler takes the next jump, turns to judge and says “I’ll explain later”
J: More whistles and an interception mission begins

********
H: “He just has a cut on his pad”
J: “Well, that explains why he’s lame. It must be bothering him because he’s limping”
H: “But the cut doesn’t bother him all the time”
J: “Looks like he needs a little more rest and healing time”

********
H: “But that would have been my title!”
J: Speechless

********

What Is Lame – For the heck of it, I looked up the definition of lame at Dictionary.com:
1) crippledorphysicallydisabled,esp.inthefootorlegsoasto limporwalkwithdifficulty.
2) impaired or disabled through defect or injury: a lame arm.

With a definition that hints or implies a lifetime stigma, no wonder people seem to immediately jump to denial!

A Better Definition of Lame – So I kept up my search and found what I feel is a more appropriate definition from the Longman Dictionary Online: 1) unable to walk properly because your leg or foot is injured or weak: a lame dog

What a Judge Means When They Say Lame – What I’d like to encourage handlers to think is that when a judge says “Your dog is lame”, they’re not making a medical diagnosis or saying that a dog is forever crippled. Instead, they are sharing that in that moment of time, there is an issue that is preventing the dog from having a normal gait. Remember, we can only go by what we see and if a dog looks lame (doesn’t have a normal gait), we must error on the conservative side (i.e. what is best for the dog) we must whistle and excuse the dog from the ring.

What Should You Do – When whistled and told that a dog is lame, in most cases you should:
* Stop – Immediately and look at your dog.
* Think – To hell with the run!
* Ask – What was he/she doing (i.e. limping, holding a leg up, etc.).
* Decide – Do I pick-up my dog or let them walk off the course.
* Investigate – Go back to your setup and thoroughly check your dog out
* Plan – What the next steps will be, keeping in mind what is best for your dog.

Final Words of Wisdom – Remember, we care about the well-being of your dog. While it certainly can be disappointing to be unable to finish a run, your dog’s safety and well-being is our first priority.

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Categories : Dog Health, Judging Agility Articles, Judging Stories, Things To Know
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Dog Beers – Yes, These Are For Real…(and not for the dogs!)

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

This past weekend in OH we not only judged, but did a few fun things as well.

We went to this amazingly HUGE grocery store called Jungle Jim’s where they have every specialty item you could ever dream of. We seemed to be stuck in the wine, beer and cigar section (one of Dan’s hobbies) and being the dog enthusiast I am, I took the opportunity to take pictures of the dog-themed beers.

Here were some of the names we saw:
* Ellie’s Brown Ale – featuring a chocolate lab of course!

* Garde Dog

 

* Tire Bite Golden Ale

 

* In Heat Wheat Hefe Weizen

 

* Raging Bitch

 

* Labrador Lagar (from Thirsty Dog Brewing Co.)

 

* Old Leghumper (also from Thirsty Dog Brewing Co.)

 

 

The only one we were able to try was the Ellie’s Brown Ale (in honor of Dan’s Chocolate Labs Sadie and Burton).

 

On a slightly different note, we were able to take our beer, wine and Dan’s cigar selections back to the hotel and picked up some great take-out from Olive Garden. We plucked a large blanket from the hotel room and nabbed a shady spot in the grass under a tree behind the hotel for a little picnic.

 

Within minutes, several exhibitors joined us (they’re always welcome!) and soon we had a crowd hanging out on the blanket, enjoying wine, beer and cigars (the men…). The weather was gorgeous and I think it was one of the most amazing evenings I’ve had in a very long time.

 

I told my hubby he needs to plan a picnic for us in the future. It was a simple luxury and I highly recommend it.

 

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Categories : Agility Reality, Judging Stories, Just Plain FUN!
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Agility in Hawaii…Our Amazing Experience

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (2)
Sunday, March 21st, 2010

As you probably know, Dan is here to judge agility in Hawaii. He’s definitely dressed for the part and is looking very…well, Hawaiian!

The club has been absolutely amazing. They greeted us at the airport with traditional Lei’s, drove us to our hotel which has beautiful views of Diamond Head and of Waikiki Beach (just 2 minutes away), served steak for lunch, had 15+ workers setting up & doing course changes and everyone is so welcoming and nice!

I spent Saturday making good use of my camera and took over 1,200 pictures of the dogs. When you take into account that there were probably only 30 dogs entered, that’s a lot of pictures! I’m in the process of uploading all of the shots and will make the pictures available for a flat per dog rate of $30, with all of the funds going directly to the Puget Sound Dalmatian rescue group. Enjoy a few sample photos I’ve included in this blog and stay tuned for the picture link and the Paypal link for the rescue organization.

Back to the dogs…I was very impressed. The handlers had wonderful skills and the dogs were well trained. There was a variety of dog breeds and the club is excited to be able to open up their trial to Mixed Breeds in just a few weeks. In preparation for that day, Dan and I measured quite a few dogs who have their Companion Partner Certificate from the AKC and will soon be competing!

For small clubs like the one here in Hawaii, opening up and including mixed breeds is an absolutely WONDERFUL thing. Now everyone can participate, which is great because trials are limited and it is expensive for handlers to travel from island to island. When I return in November, I’ll be judging a larger group since mixed breeds will be joining us!

I’m so overwhelmed by how friendly and welcoming everyone in the club has been. I don’t feel like I’ve done them justice in my blog, but suffice to say that I am so looking forward to coming back. This is an amazing group of talented and warm people. I feel very blessed to have been able to come and spend the day with them. I Dan was equally as impressed with the group as well.

Thank you for having us!!!

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Categories : Dog Training, Judging Stories, Travels
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Yet Another Judging Hotel Moment – Ingenuity or a New Low?

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Friday, March 5th, 2010

The best moments are sometimes the unplanned ones and well, I’ve got a moment to share.


As a little background, I’m in Ohio for a judging assignment and it’s frozen, snowy and cold here. So I had this great idea that I’d take a nice hot shower before bed to warm up. As I prepared, I realized I didn’t have a shower cap to keep my hair dry. I thought about heading to the front desk, but that would require me walking outside in the cold and I wasn’t game for that trip.

After looking around, I spied a large zip lock bag that I had with me and thought “Ah, ha!” So I emptied it out and starting with the hair in back I flipped my pony tail in the bag and proceeded to try to fit the zip lock bag on my head. Thank goodness it was one of those tough freezer ones because the fit was a little tight and yet I still couldn’t quite get all my hair in there. As I glanced in the mirror and saw the vision of me standing naked with a pointy zip lock bag on my head, I realized I was bordering on complete desperation. Some might say insanity.

That’s when I spied option #2…the clean trash can liner. Now that was a much easier fit and all I had to do was tuck in the edges and I had a new shower cap! So with a trash bag on my head, I pulled the button to switch the running water to the shower head. Oh was I looking forward to that hot shower and eagerly awaiting the sound of water pounding on the back shower wall. I just knew that simple sound would make the insanity of wearing a trash bag on my head an okay thing. I had already convinced myself that sound was going to proudly move my status up from quirky to ingenious. But more importantly, I’d be warm.

But that’s not what happened. Instead of a sandblast of water, a weak fountain of water trickled from the shower head while the remaining water shot uselessly in all directions from the faucet. So I did what anyone would do, I pushed the button so all of the water came gushing out of the faucet (so yes, there was water pressure) and then pulled the button hoping that same pressure would explode from the shower head.

But it didn’t! So I repeated those same steps – 5 more times! Can you believe the results were the same? All I wanted was to be warm!!

It was then that I thought a little muscle might do the trick so I put one leg in the bathtub and PULLED up with all of my power on that stupid button. Low and behold, it worked and I had a 1/2 spray available. Yes! Victory was near! So with satisfaction and even more anticipation for a hot shower, I let go of the button and prepared to hoist my other leg into the tub.

Want to guess what happened next? Yeah, the 1/2 spray I was so satisfied with a few moments ago resorted back to the weak trickle. So I PULLED up on that button and let go…5 more times. With the same results. I was so close and yet, so far. But I was determined (and let’s not forget about desperate) for a hot shower and no dumb $#& button was going to stop me!

The solution was simple – hold the button while showering. Yeah, so picture this. I have a garbage bag on my head, a 1/2 spray that requires me to actively PULL the button up, I can’t stand erect because of that darn button and even with the shower head facing straight down, I can barely get one limb wet at a time and have to keep switching hands to rotate my body through the 1/2 spray. Not exactly how I originally pictured it, but I guess it got the job done.

Tomorrow I think I’ll mention the shower problem to the front desk. In the meantime, at least I’m warm for now.

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New York, New York!

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

This past weekend I was judging in New Jersey, but was given a New York City tour by my pal and fellow judge, Scott Stock.

NYC is amazing and it reminds me so much of my hometown of Chicago. There is so much going on and culturally it’s a hub that everyone should experience. While living in Seattle has certain advantages, unfortunately it hasn’t evolved into a city that houses true diversity. NY has is that its roots in being the gateway to the United States where people from all walks of life have settled here over the last century.
During my NY tour, we took the subway (last picture shown) and stopped at Grand Central Station (2nd picture). There were at least a half dozen artists drawing from the very place I took this picture as the architecture is beautiful. Unfortunately my camera phone doesn’t do it justice! For some more professional shots of Grand Central, here is a link: http://andrewprokos.com/photos/new-york/landmarks/grand-central-station/. We walked through Manhattan, down Park Place and up Broadway.
Next is a picture of Times Square which was busy, busy, busy! We passed the Ed Sullivan Theatre where David Letterman’s studio is, the theatres on Broadway and saw the famous New Year’s Eve ball. Since the date of my visit was 9/11, the city was preparing a special event to commemorate those who lost their lives in the twin towers.
One of the things I found amazing was how garbage pick up is handled. As we walked along the streets, there were bags out at the curb. Apparently everyone brings their garbage & recycling down each evening and the city picks it up in the early morning hours. Now this may sound icky, but surprisingly, each bag was piled nicely, there was no smell and the streets were clear of litter. There were garbage cans on every street corner for people to use and none of the cans were overflowing or filthy.
Another interesting thing is that in this park of NY, each sidewalk corner was made of a beautiful natural stone and not cement. I can understand how people think that the USA has streets paved with gold!
For dinner, we went to Little Italy, which is next to NY’s China Town. We had an amazing Italian dinner and then stopped at an outside vendor for some cannoli’s. Ah, how I miss having these delicious treats!
I just had to take a picture of all of the cannoli’s so that I could fondly remember them…
Last but not least is a picture of the subway that I mentioned earlier.
As always, a great trip and a wonderful experience!
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The Latest Trends in Hotel Pillows – Judging Stories

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Saturday, March 21st, 2009

Judging Agility sometimes includes flying and driving to various parts of the country and almost always means sleeping in strange beds.

While talking about hotel chains, I once began a statement with the words “I’ve been in a lot of hotel rooms in my time….”….Ouch, that came out so very wrong! Regardless, the statement is true – I’ve slept (alone) in a lot of hotel rooms in the name of judging.
Room amenities & styles have changed quite a bit over the years. For example, the “Save the Planet…” signs with their plea to reuse towels wasn’t around 10 years ago and neither was free WiFi.
But the latest hotel trend doesn’t have to do with hairdryers, fancy soaps, mini-sewing kits or shower caps, but rather pillows!  Lately, every hotel I’ve been in has a minimum of SIX pillows on the bed. My bed at home has a mere 3 pillows, one for me, one for my husband and another small cushion I stole from the couch.
I have to admit that it’s a gorgeous arrangement of fresh fluffed white puff featured in front of the headboard. Each time I walk in and see the pillows overlapping on the bed, visions of me sitting mixed in the middle of all of them while furiously typing on my laptop brings a smile to my face.
Just when I think the experience couldn’t get better, the Holiday Inn Express has surprised me with their Pillow for Dummies approach. They cleaverly thought to mark each pillow with the appropriate pillowcase – soft for softer pillows & firm for those firmer choices (see pictures above).
No more guessing as to which of the six pillows is right for you!  Nope, Pillow for Dummies is a step-by-step guide for Head & Neck Selectiveness Syndrom (prone to frequent travelers) and is stylish and matches all decores. Pillow for Dummies is available for only a short period of time (since pillow cases wear out from use) so act now! Don’t miss out on your FREE TRIAL offer – available only at….Holiday Inn Express!
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Taxi Cabs and the Twilight Zone

By Lisa Selthofer · Comments (0)
Friday, March 20th, 2009

Ever take a taxi cab? If you have, I’ll bet you’ll be able to relate to today’s Blog….

I don’t care what city you’re in, the minute you open the back door and get into a Taxi Cab, it’s like entering the Twilight Zone. For me, the theme music starts, my vision begins to blur, my head starts to spin and I’ve quickly realized it’s best just to stare out the passenger window and not look ahead. Then, just when I think the experience can’t get worse, I realize the cab driver wants to chat! Chatting means they’re not looking ahead…not good.
Why not look out the front you ask? Well, let me share a few of my cab experiences and you’ll quickly see why I try really hard to melt into the seat and become invisible!
First, there was this cab ride in Chicago where the craziness of it’s cab drivers is second only to New York.  We get in and as we’re heading across the city to the museum, people are literally jumping out of our path so as not to be hit. We’re so close to the cars around us that I have to practice focusing on my breathing so as not to hyperventilate. The weird part was that the city pedestrians & drivers were acting like this was just a normal day at the office.
Next, there’s the infamous cab ride in Las Vegas. As my now husband and I are sitting in the back of the taxi van heading down the strip toward our romantic dinner destination while our NASCAR-wanna-be driver is FLYING at top speed and swerving in and out of traffic. We’re flipping around in back like a hamster in a speeding ball and I’m looking to Dan with pleading eyes to save us. He’s frozen in fear, or else he’s hit his head a few too many times on the side windows to realize that our situation isn’t normal.
As we come upon a cross walk, there is an elderly gentleman making his way to the side walk in a turtle fashion.  Our cab driver, being the sensitive individual his is, not only speeds up and races toward him, but yells “Hurry up old man or I’ll give you that hip replacement you’ve been whining about!”
I didn’t actually see the gentleman jump out of the way as I was mesmerized by Dan’s large saucer-like eyes and when he jerked to cover his face, I thought for sure I’d hear a thud. No thumping or thudding and I’m not sure how we missed the older man, but I swear somebody was practicing a planned movie stunt at our expense and one day we’re going to see our faces on some B-rated TV comic reality show.
That brings me to today’s cab ride. The club regretted that their normal hospitality person wasn’t available and asked me to take a cab from the airport to the hotel. Visions of my prior cab experiences dashed through my head and I knew what I’m in for, but I plaster a smile on my face and hope for the best. The other thing that doesn’t help is I once saw an NYPD show about a cab driver that would steal people using a cab cover and then kill them…So with visions of murder both in and outside the cab, I begin the trip.
The ride starts out quite enough, but midway through he asks me if I have directions to the hotel. Great. I have an address and a phone number, that’s it. He says not to worry and off we go. Typical of the cab driver legacy, we’re weaving in and out of traffic on the California highways, do a few quick stops and then a few fast lane changes to keep going. The icing on the cake is when my cabby puts on his driving glasses (you guessed it, he hadn’t been wearing them previously) and I realize we’re now doing 35 mph on the highway vs. the 70+ we’d been doing just a few minutes before. I can’t help but wonder if he really knows where we’re going and at that moment, he slams on the breaks and pulls onto the median. It appears the exit that was about 50 feet back is his destination so I just sit there staring out the passenger window, cowering in the seat and waiting for a rear end impact that luckily never comes.
After getting onto the desired off ramp safely, he laughs and apologizes. Of course I laugh as well, smile and say “no problem”. What I’m really thinking inside is “You scared the cr*p out of me!” Somehow those words don’t seem like a good idea since I’m not yet at my destination and he ultimately has control of the locks and windows (remember that NYPD show I told you about?).
Well, we do get to my hotel and I’m grateful I dyed my greys last week or I’m certain they’d be really, really silver for this weekend’s show. But, I did make it safely and with yet another story from judging.
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